Pappa wants mamma naked
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
