Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
