Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
