it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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