CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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