Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
