Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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