Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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