Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
