I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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