Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
