you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
