Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
