I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I wish there were birth control emojis
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
