My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
