You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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