Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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