I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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