dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
