she smelled like a LAN party
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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