I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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