K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
