just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
