I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
