Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
