I looked at my own cervix.
you win again, gameday.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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