Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Randomize
