Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
