This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
