So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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