lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
