Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
