lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
