Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My cat gives me a boner
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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