If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
