And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
