This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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