are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
