u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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