I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
