So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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