So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
