I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
