Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
