Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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