A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
