The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
