My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
