If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
