you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
