I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
