It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
