I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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